I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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