absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No subtext here. People are naked.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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