he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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