Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
