I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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