your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
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