I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
