Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
