If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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