At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
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I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
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I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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