Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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