This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
