We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
