in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
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We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
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Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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