no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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