drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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