My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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