My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I think I won the penis lottery.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
