You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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