So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
