Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Is Oprah even human
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
