just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
