You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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