We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Randomize
