is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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