Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize