I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
They took my balls.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
So vagazzling was a success
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Randomize
