my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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