I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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