Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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