i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
