Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
