OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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