I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Randomize
