So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I have aggressive nipples.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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