so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Even the bartender felt bad for me
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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