her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
