TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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