We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize