She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
