her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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