I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
