Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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