first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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