I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
