she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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