Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
