I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
The air was thick with penises
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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