don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
