How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
