alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
