Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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