weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
She made me pour olive oil on her.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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