I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
