he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Randomize
