his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Randomize
