It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
