Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
